LifeAftr Application
Jun. 20th, 2018 01:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
worstmagePlayer Information
Name: Leah
Age: 28
Contact: Discord: MaleaBotor#5726
Current characters: n/a
Character Information
Name: Jowan
Series: Dragon Age
Appearance: CW Spider person
Age: 27
Canon Point: After Awakening
Transferring From: Ryslig
Canon History: Here is his wiki page. The specific choices which were made match up with those that Daylen took but those specific to Jowan are:
- Daylen didn’t betray him and tried to help him escape
- Jowan was sent into the Fade to rescue Connor
- Daylen sent Jowan back to the Circle
I’ve extrapolated that this resulted in Jowan being made tranquil upon his return to the Circle Tower.
Canon Personality: Jowan has a difficult time thinking beyond himself a lot of the time. He wants to escape for him, he thinks of the trials of being a mage in terms of how it affects him. The important thing for him isn’t any sort of unjustness. Other Tranquils are just creepy as people, the real horror is him thinking about what that would be like for him. Being a mage leads to that sort of thinking to a certain extent: according to another Circle mage, the Templars who guard the Tower would use any connections you made against you where they could. But it really is quite pronounced with Jowan, especially as he has difficulty thinking about the consequences of his actions on top of that.
Not thinking ahead, only thinking in the moment about what he wanted just then, this is what led to him picking up forbidden blood magic in the first place. He thought he needed to be better to matter, so he made a direct connection: that blood magic would help him increase his power. Of course, this meant disregarding all the possible negative outcomes that would probably have, which resulted in the Rite of Tranquility being ordered for him. It took another complete disregard for what his actions could cause for him to rope in Daylen to help him destroy the vial of blood the Templars could track him with. It takes him until much later, when he’s made another terrible mistake and poisoned Arl Eamon for him to finally start, if not thinking ahead, at least trying to make up for all the mistakes he makes by rushing into things.
Most of the choices he makes, however, can really be accounted for by his incredibly low self-esteem. He takes up blood magic because he thinks he’s a terrible mage, especially in comparison to his best friend who arrived at the Circle after he did. He doesn’t think he’s good at anything, so the only way he’ll ever possibly be good enough is by taking up a power forbidden to others. This only gets exacerbated later into full on self-loathing when he’s been tortured by the Arlessa. He calls himself a fool and goes on about how his entire life has been a bad decision. He even seems resigned to dying. This all started very early, quite probably created by his mother, who when he manifested his powers called him a “demon child” and “that thing” and got his father to abandon him at the chantry. This can’t have done wonders for how he thinks about himself.
Despite all this, he is something of a romantic, for good or bad, as well as being a decent person at heart. He dreams of the life he and Lily will have together on a farm where he’ll obviously never do magic again and resist demons easily. He wishes for one last chance to prove himself, to make things right somehow. He makes sure to ask about Lily, and will ask the Warden to tell her he loves her if they ever see her again.
Personality Shifts: He’s a spider, so he got kinda tidier? Also he stopped being Tranquil, which means he’s even more terrified about the entire concept of it, despite being resigned and accepting of it at the end of his appearance in game. He did use to be a mage but Ryslig didn't let him keep his powers. He’s also had a bit of time past getting tortured and his major failure, so he’s gained a little bit of his confidence back and is less of a sad sack than his last onscreen moment. Otherwise, he’s kind of just eternally the same whiny, depressed, struggling selfish person, no matter how much trauma happens to him. Being a spider, to him, is essentially just a continuation of him being an awful person. He's fairly sure he deserves it. He'd already been tortured by the time he got to Ryslig and it's been several months since he finished transforming, so that didn't affect him mentally substantially beyond where he already was.
In Ryslig, Jowan didn't particularly have the chance to create any really close friendships because his ex best friend Daylen was already there. Daylen kind of kept down Jowan's morale and ran interference to 'protect Ryslig from Jowan' essentially. The only people he really ended up with effective CR with is Loki from Bayonetta (they were once cursed to fight to the death and he'd naturally be kinda wary of the guy if he showed up again) and Jehan from Les Mis who he worked for. Otherwise, his original setting has, like. Giant spiders that live in the storage room and is a medieval post-zombie apocalypse so he didn't get particularly shook by...a city turning into flesh, or glass shards falling from the sky. At least it's not a giant zombie dragon directing zombie hordes to burn down the city, you know? He still was scared of things but he's scared of a lot of things.
Abilities: Jowan comes originally with skills for research, basic herbalism and….not much else. He can use a dagger! Kind of! Everything else comes with the spide body.
- He has venomous fangs with jumping spider venom (quick-acting and painful paralysis) and a once-per-day venom that forces the victim to obey his orders for an hour. He’s immune to these, and all other poisons.
- He’s stronger than a human, but not particularly so. He’s not a fighter, so he has nothing built up. Most of his resources go to sprinting.
- He can sense nearby movement and the direction it approaches from through his feet using vibration.
- He has spinnerets that can create various sizes and kinds of spider silk that he can use to create webs (difficult to destroy but vulnerable to fire) or more often, a pup tent that he sleeps in.
- He can see very well in the dark.
- He has super speed, although he does best with swift movements with his spider legs, and short sprinted distances. His endurance is not unending.
- He has eyes in a sort of crown encircling his head. The ones on the top of and behind his head can’t discern specifics, they mostly identify movement.
- He can climb on walls and ceilings.
- He moults his spider body once a month. This is the only way he can heal wounds in it.
- He has a Fog Form, which is slightly bigger and beefier and fuzzier and actually has mandibles on the face part. According to my Ryslig pals in game, this has actually become relevant once, so I’ll mention it!
Inventory: A grey sweater and a black t-shirt.
Sample
What’s worse: self-isolation or rejection?
Oh, rejection. Definitely. I'm...sometimes I think it would be better for everyone if I just cut myself off from them at this point. I...suppose I couldn't make up for anything that way, though.
What would you say is your best quality?
Best....quality.... You...do know I'm not very good, right? At pretty much everything? Do I have to answer? I don't think there's an answer.
Have you ever disappointed yourself?
What? Yes--my life is a disappointment. Every test I failed, every spell I bungled, the whole...thing with the Arl... I suppose it could be worse. You could have asked if I ever haven't disappointed myself, like with the previous question.
Have you ever been in love? If so, what made you fall in love with that person?
Ohh...Lily. I lost her--it was stupid, I never should have learned blood magic. Maker...I wish I didn't make so many mistakes. I, er, I met her in the Circle. She was a Chantry Sister--still is, I hope, she can't still be in Aeonar--and, well, I came upon her reciting the Chant and it was so beautiful...like I'd never heard it before. She...saw something in me, Maker knows what. It's gone now. She hates me: I lied to her, and I'm a maleficar. I wish I'd never met her...I ruined her life. That's all I can do to anyone. Lily...
To you, what would be considered an unforgivable action by someone else?
I suppose it would...depend on whether I deserved it. I've come around to a lot that I used to think I'd never forgive someone for. Daylen turning me in to the Circle? I deserved that. I needed to face up to what I've done. But...I don't know, he's seen me, now. I don't, um, I mean, I'd forgive him by default, because Tranquil don't care, but I don't think I'd be ok with him turning me in to be made Tranquil again. It's a moot point, I don't think it's possible in Ryslig. But I...I can't go back to that.
What’s your idea of a perfect day?
Does it have to be realistic? If not, I'd want to not be a spider but otherwise...just...sitting around quietly, not being bothered while I read something interesting. Not worrying about any mage stuff, just a moment to relax.
If you could change something about a person you love, would you do it? Why or why not?
I think it's probably selfish to say I'd want to, isn't it? It...can't be helped I...guess, I wish Daylen and Lily didn't hate me. I wish neither of them knew I'd ever been a blood mage. And I'm not a mage anymore, so it wouldn't matter! Everyone would be happier if they didn't know.
Name: Leah
Age: 28
Contact: Discord: MaleaBotor#5726
Current characters: n/a
Character Information
Name: Jowan
Series: Dragon Age
Appearance: CW Spider person
Age: 27
Canon Point: After Awakening
Transferring From: Ryslig
Canon History: Here is his wiki page. The specific choices which were made match up with those that Daylen took but those specific to Jowan are:
- Daylen didn’t betray him and tried to help him escape
- Jowan was sent into the Fade to rescue Connor
- Daylen sent Jowan back to the Circle
I’ve extrapolated that this resulted in Jowan being made tranquil upon his return to the Circle Tower.
Canon Personality: Jowan has a difficult time thinking beyond himself a lot of the time. He wants to escape for him, he thinks of the trials of being a mage in terms of how it affects him. The important thing for him isn’t any sort of unjustness. Other Tranquils are just creepy as people, the real horror is him thinking about what that would be like for him. Being a mage leads to that sort of thinking to a certain extent: according to another Circle mage, the Templars who guard the Tower would use any connections you made against you where they could. But it really is quite pronounced with Jowan, especially as he has difficulty thinking about the consequences of his actions on top of that.
Not thinking ahead, only thinking in the moment about what he wanted just then, this is what led to him picking up forbidden blood magic in the first place. He thought he needed to be better to matter, so he made a direct connection: that blood magic would help him increase his power. Of course, this meant disregarding all the possible negative outcomes that would probably have, which resulted in the Rite of Tranquility being ordered for him. It took another complete disregard for what his actions could cause for him to rope in Daylen to help him destroy the vial of blood the Templars could track him with. It takes him until much later, when he’s made another terrible mistake and poisoned Arl Eamon for him to finally start, if not thinking ahead, at least trying to make up for all the mistakes he makes by rushing into things.
Most of the choices he makes, however, can really be accounted for by his incredibly low self-esteem. He takes up blood magic because he thinks he’s a terrible mage, especially in comparison to his best friend who arrived at the Circle after he did. He doesn’t think he’s good at anything, so the only way he’ll ever possibly be good enough is by taking up a power forbidden to others. This only gets exacerbated later into full on self-loathing when he’s been tortured by the Arlessa. He calls himself a fool and goes on about how his entire life has been a bad decision. He even seems resigned to dying. This all started very early, quite probably created by his mother, who when he manifested his powers called him a “demon child” and “that thing” and got his father to abandon him at the chantry. This can’t have done wonders for how he thinks about himself.
Despite all this, he is something of a romantic, for good or bad, as well as being a decent person at heart. He dreams of the life he and Lily will have together on a farm where he’ll obviously never do magic again and resist demons easily. He wishes for one last chance to prove himself, to make things right somehow. He makes sure to ask about Lily, and will ask the Warden to tell her he loves her if they ever see her again.
Personality Shifts: He’s a spider, so he got kinda tidier? Also he stopped being Tranquil, which means he’s even more terrified about the entire concept of it, despite being resigned and accepting of it at the end of his appearance in game. He did use to be a mage but Ryslig didn't let him keep his powers. He’s also had a bit of time past getting tortured and his major failure, so he’s gained a little bit of his confidence back and is less of a sad sack than his last onscreen moment. Otherwise, he’s kind of just eternally the same whiny, depressed, struggling selfish person, no matter how much trauma happens to him. Being a spider, to him, is essentially just a continuation of him being an awful person. He's fairly sure he deserves it. He'd already been tortured by the time he got to Ryslig and it's been several months since he finished transforming, so that didn't affect him mentally substantially beyond where he already was.
In Ryslig, Jowan didn't particularly have the chance to create any really close friendships because his ex best friend Daylen was already there. Daylen kind of kept down Jowan's morale and ran interference to 'protect Ryslig from Jowan' essentially. The only people he really ended up with effective CR with is Loki from Bayonetta (they were once cursed to fight to the death and he'd naturally be kinda wary of the guy if he showed up again) and Jehan from Les Mis who he worked for. Otherwise, his original setting has, like. Giant spiders that live in the storage room and is a medieval post-zombie apocalypse so he didn't get particularly shook by...a city turning into flesh, or glass shards falling from the sky. At least it's not a giant zombie dragon directing zombie hordes to burn down the city, you know? He still was scared of things but he's scared of a lot of things.
Abilities: Jowan comes originally with skills for research, basic herbalism and….not much else. He can use a dagger! Kind of! Everything else comes with the spide body.
- He has venomous fangs with jumping spider venom (quick-acting and painful paralysis) and a once-per-day venom that forces the victim to obey his orders for an hour. He’s immune to these, and all other poisons.
- He’s stronger than a human, but not particularly so. He’s not a fighter, so he has nothing built up. Most of his resources go to sprinting.
- He can sense nearby movement and the direction it approaches from through his feet using vibration.
- He has spinnerets that can create various sizes and kinds of spider silk that he can use to create webs (difficult to destroy but vulnerable to fire) or more often, a pup tent that he sleeps in.
- He can see very well in the dark.
- He has super speed, although he does best with swift movements with his spider legs, and short sprinted distances. His endurance is not unending.
- He has eyes in a sort of crown encircling his head. The ones on the top of and behind his head can’t discern specifics, they mostly identify movement.
- He can climb on walls and ceilings.
- He moults his spider body once a month. This is the only way he can heal wounds in it.
- He has a Fog Form, which is slightly bigger and beefier and fuzzier and actually has mandibles on the face part. According to my Ryslig pals in game, this has actually become relevant once, so I’ll mention it!
Inventory: A grey sweater and a black t-shirt.
Sample
What’s worse: self-isolation or rejection?
Oh, rejection. Definitely. I'm...sometimes I think it would be better for everyone if I just cut myself off from them at this point. I...suppose I couldn't make up for anything that way, though.
What would you say is your best quality?
Best....quality.... You...do know I'm not very good, right? At pretty much everything? Do I have to answer? I don't think there's an answer.
Have you ever disappointed yourself?
What? Yes--my life is a disappointment. Every test I failed, every spell I bungled, the whole...thing with the Arl... I suppose it could be worse. You could have asked if I ever haven't disappointed myself, like with the previous question.
Have you ever been in love? If so, what made you fall in love with that person?
Ohh...Lily. I lost her--it was stupid, I never should have learned blood magic. Maker...I wish I didn't make so many mistakes. I, er, I met her in the Circle. She was a Chantry Sister--still is, I hope, she can't still be in Aeonar--and, well, I came upon her reciting the Chant and it was so beautiful...like I'd never heard it before. She...saw something in me, Maker knows what. It's gone now. She hates me: I lied to her, and I'm a maleficar. I wish I'd never met her...I ruined her life. That's all I can do to anyone. Lily...
To you, what would be considered an unforgivable action by someone else?
I suppose it would...depend on whether I deserved it. I've come around to a lot that I used to think I'd never forgive someone for. Daylen turning me in to the Circle? I deserved that. I needed to face up to what I've done. But...I don't know, he's seen me, now. I don't, um, I mean, I'd forgive him by default, because Tranquil don't care, but I don't think I'd be ok with him turning me in to be made Tranquil again. It's a moot point, I don't think it's possible in Ryslig. But I...I can't go back to that.
What’s your idea of a perfect day?
Does it have to be realistic? If not, I'd want to not be a spider but otherwise...just...sitting around quietly, not being bothered while I read something interesting. Not worrying about any mage stuff, just a moment to relax.
If you could change something about a person you love, would you do it? Why or why not?
I think it's probably selfish to say I'd want to, isn't it? It...can't be helped I...guess, I wish Daylen and Lily didn't hate me. I wish neither of them knew I'd ever been a blood mage. And I'm not a mage anymore, so it wouldn't matter! Everyone would be happier if they didn't know.
